the significance of the words in the song
that is the champion of hearts with empty minds
really they don't seem to comprehend
listening to bagabons
singing along to their aimless songs
The poetry of my fingers to a keyboard, with all the truth that my brain holds
In my life this whole school year there has been this shadow of doubt and uncertainty that has brought me down.
Part of it was the unknown of where I was going to be next year, and what would I be doing with my life. I worried about if I would be going to the school of my choice, and even if that was the best choice for me. The there was the fear of am I studying a field that I can get a job in. Journalism is something I want to do at all costs, but am I going to be able to get and keep a job in this field of high agression.
The biggest part of that shadow though wasn't about my future but about my present. I liked a guy, and this year my closest frineds have seen the pull and tug that has occured between us. It was an and off again thing that was totally abussive to me. He liked me, yeah. He didn't give a dam though. He really didn't want to make anything work. Instead I was something that he used to get what he wanted, and all he wanted was to get laid. I realize now that that isn't what i want. I want more and i don't care if that means cutting him out of the picture. He wasn't good enough for me and it took me a long time to see it, to see that my friends were right. Now that I see it I don't care about him anymore.
Instead I'm giddy and joyfully happy cause I have something good going for me now. I'm enrolled in college for next year at a place that won't break the bank, only stretch it. I'm still going to be studying something I love, journalism. Now I just have to learn to let go of my fears over a job and the struggles within my family. I meet someone. He is cool, smart, considerate, and just what i need right now. I hope he knows how much i enjoy talking to him and how i can't wait till his prom. I can't wait to see him again. Last night with him just made me soo giddy and hyper. He maybe leaving next year, but I hope we can keep this good thing going no matter what.
So here is to being content, happy, and just plain giddy over a good thing that has come along. (even though i had my doubts) Doubting no longer. No more gray clouding days. Just days of pure certainty and close perfection (besides the minor bumps in the road) lol
ttyl, t
Likes....jim carey, movies, good books, riding my bike, the beach, writing, all different types of music, Irish step dancing, jogging, star gazing, mexican food, the colors pink, purple, blue, and black, swimming, the victorian and renisance eras, trying to learn guitar and piano, traveling, open minded people, firecrackers, seashells, adventures, volleyball, chinese takout, and pizza!!, horseback riding, rebels, photograpghy, a good conversation, Swtichfoot, ambitous people, honesty,languages(even though i'm not good at it), my fav newspaper hat, tinkerbell, bruce springstein, neil diamond, embroidery, dogs, casts, climbing trees, coffee, new music, irsh/ british chocolate, Gilmore Girls (old episodes), babies- a big family, Keeping Up Apperances on BBC,tea and biscutts, linzy tart, strawberries, root beer floats, people that don't hold u back, dreams that are a little of a stuggle, star wars, Harry potter, Lord of the rings, Meg Cabot, The chronicles of Narnia........
Dislikes....cutters, people that are predjudice to others, death, reality tv, some techno music, doubters, stereotypes, haters, drugies, people without confidence, ultra conservatives, pro-life, rap and r&b music, bolemics, anorexics, jerks, people with no ambition to do anything with their lives, cheeerleaders, dizzy blondes, people that memorized every SAT word, users, jahova's witnesses, hippies, the color red, mice, control freaks, BUSH and his fucked up admidistration, compainers, guys that think they are the best thing since sex (wake up..u aren't even the best thing since the invention of dirt) drama queens, sluts, sleeping your way up the corporate ladder, shakespeare,the french, medications that keep me alive, eyeglasses, bitchy libirians, posers, quiters, smokers, beer, lindsey lohan, beyonce knowles, oprah and her sucky book club, sellouts, idiots, girls that wear clothes that look like they had them painted on, close minded people, geniusis, polution, celerary, diets, makeup, the gap between the sexes, doubters, fears, too cocky people...every guy that has used me, in one way of the other
yeah that's basically it..if i think of more i'll write them at the bottom, thanks t