Giddy For A Reason!!!!

In my life this whole school year there has been this shadow of doubt and uncertainty that has brought me down.

Part of it was the unknown of where I was going to be next year, and what would I be doing with my life. I worried about if I would be going to the school of my choice, and even if that was the best choice for me. The there was the fear of am I studying a field that I can get a job in. Journalism is something  I want to do at all costs, but am I going to be able to get and keep a job in this field of high agression.
The biggest part of that shadow though wasn't about my future but about my present. I liked a guy, and this year my closest frineds have seen the pull and tug that has occured between us. It was an and off again thing that was totally abussive to me. He liked me, yeah. He didn't give a dam though. He really didn't want to make anything work. Instead I was something that he used to get what he wanted, and all he wanted was to get laid. I realize now that that isn't what i want. I want more and i don't care if that means cutting him out of the picture. He wasn't good enough for me and it took me a long time to see it, to see that my friends were right. Now that I see it I don't care about him anymore.
 Instead I'm giddy and joyfully happy cause I have something good going for me now. I'm enrolled  in college for next year at a place that won't break the bank, only stretch it. I'm still going to be studying something I love, journalism. Now I just have to learn to let go of my fears over a job and the struggles within my family. I meet someone. He is cool, smart, considerate, and just what i need right now. I hope he knows how much i enjoy talking to him and how i can't wait till his prom. I can't wait to see him again. Last night with him just made me soo giddy and hyper. He maybe leaving next year, but I hope we can keep this good thing going no matter what. 
So here is to being content, happy, and just plain giddy over a good thing that has come along. (even though i had my doubts) Doubting no longer. No more gray clouding days. Just days of pure certainty and close perfection (besides the minor bumps in the road) lol
ttyl, t