High school is always about the competition, always about the fight to get ahead. Anyone that isn't on board with usually drowns when it comes to SATs and college applications. But for those that hold strong through the four years, and push themselves with college level classes and AP tests, they find it possible to dream on. Perfect college classes, perfect dorm with a somewhat perfect roommate, and evidentially perfect careers.
High school was that push off for me. I never worked as hard in school, and thought so solely on that goal in my whole life. Then my first acceptance letter became my only choice and my first roommate became my nightmare. Classes held up their potential even though I was stuck in a general education ditch till sophomore year, when my new roommate became my best friend/ mom on campus.
High was still the golden years and I was still pushing off into empty space. Then spring came with a new job that forced me to be grounded for those around me and a staff of six. It lasted too, till I found that I really couldn't be grounded enough for myself let alone them. Now its coming to the breath between semesters of junior year, and I'm tied to the ground by a cylinder block. The rest of me is floating off.
High school were the years I was sure. Falling to flight of my future wasn't even featured on the thought process list. Now certainty is seen as circumstantial, and being suck in space is the only thing that comes to be close to certain. Motivation lost along with every realization that perfect is nowhere close to being breathed into reality.
So where to go from here. Three semesters left praying for three genie wishes to start over, even though I wouldn't know where to start differently. Maybe, I would start at...
...high school.
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