Thanks For Everything Phil

Everyone looked at me weird, as I continued to refer to the turkey coming in and out of the oven as Phil. The Hall Government president was convinced that I was no more weird than the 2 forties sitting inside the walls of his underage room. The Treasurer baking cookies and our favorite RHSA rep however was convinced that persecuting myself was indeed my plan. It wasn't.
The simply fact was that after about 1 hour and a half of thawing, washing, and gutting this thanksgiving bird I grew attached. It was one of those things that you raise your hands in a defeated sort of way to say, well I tried but I couldn't help. You could say there was something in him that caused a love hate relationship. His stubbornness of spreading his legs and my vigilance to the whole situation, that was the hate. The hate was also his heavy body in my frail and tired one at 9am, as I greased him and them placed him into the oven in a tin foil cocoon.
Then I went on to eat Phil. After seven hours , that was the love in the relationship. See Phil knew what I wanted. He knew what he had, and he knew I wanted it for me and the masses of residents lying up around the corner. The smart birds understand that concept even though, he didn't actually have a brain at the time I met him. It didn't really matter cause he just knew.
Which is probably why Hall gov was looking at me strange and Abby was telling me that I had caused more pain to myself than necessary. That was pure junk though. The truth is that Phil was a great bird, enjoyed my the masses. And my tummy didn't know the wiser.

Thanks for everything Phil