Its a lot harder

Knowing for a fact that I'm not ready. Knowing for a fact I'm bruised and broken. Understanding that I want to be fixed before I'm held. Knowing that my energy and my time is limited. Knowing that I can't make room, I can't make promises. Knowing that I'm just a shell. Knowing that I cling to the comfort of a book more than the arms of a man.

Knowing I can't...

I still want it at 1 am, when I can't sleep. I want to be comforted by the touch of another. I want to recognize that I stay still with someone. I want be intertwined and breathing slowly. I want to know that he won't slip through my fingers. 

Even when I have this tendency to push them into slipping. 

I want to be ready and I want to be sane. 

Knowing what it takes to be complete is a lot harder to me. 

Its a lot harder .