Me time.

I can't remember the last time that I slept in all honesty. Eyes close and I lay very still under covers wanting rest to come. In fact I wait for it very patiently, holding to pillows and willing it to come faster.

It never comes.

"You need to create more me time, Terra. That's the only way you will be able go through life," said Mom over tea and a roll.

It's the morning before Thanksgiving. My chief of a cousin looking over the two bacon covered turkeys in the kitchen. He is the last person in the world that I want to hear this conversation.

"Me time."

Not only does it sound pathetic but it sounds like something I deserve to be mocked for.
I'm going to get mocked for this.

Its 3 AM, and I curled into a ball. My gut is in a terrible amount of pain.
Then my phone rings. My best friend is lonely waiting by the computer for the long distance boyfriend to make contact.

We talk to comfort her.

The conference room's long table is the most intimidating. He talks to me not like I'm crazy or deserves a mental hospital. I more of a challenge.

He asks me why I work so hard. Why I have two jobs and two many classes.

Idol hands are the devil's playthings. Keep working and keep moving, don't think how much is spent away.

I'm more of a challenge to be made a person whole.
He tells me I'm going to have to make more alone time for myself.

I can't see alone time.

5 AM and I'm still curled into a pillow, waiting for sleep to come. It won't though. I'm missing out on too much. My eyes in a permanent red state, still looking out to the world.

"Me time"
It's worthless thing. It's unseen in this world.